Back to school, student perspective edition (satire)

After further review, here are some free tips for the first day of school next year:

  1. Teachers, Icebreakers don’t really “break the ice.” Please don’t make us stand up and introduce ourselves; we already feel uncomfortable enough.
  2. Oh yay! We get a syllabus and a lecture in every class we go to. How wonderful.
  3. I have no classes with my former friends from last year. Oh what have I done to deserve this reward.
  4. Teachers, did you know, in 2020 it was scientifically proven it’s unethical to give homework on the first day.
  5. First day of school = First day of the countdown to summer.
  6. We are robbed of seven hours – but it’s worth it. Good luck trying to get us to admit it.
  7. Waking up at 2 a.m. to get ready for school that starts at 8 a.m.  and somehow still not making it on time.
  1. Going school shopping again after getting your syllabus to purchase the things you actually need.
  2. When you’re the only lower-classman in an upper-classman room, and vice versa.
  3. But teachers we appreciate you. Next year we will do our very best to pretend we want to be there as much as you want to.

A few last thoughts: Teachers, also don’t worry, we students will survive the first day of school because we have been trained with a certain set of skills and we have years of experience; well most of us do. On the first day of school we go into a very skilled procedure of dressing up like never before and ripping through the hallways like our very own runway. Freshmen or as we like to call them fresh meat might get lost. But it’s OK; they always have us upperclassmen here not to help them, Ha! Just kidding. Fortunately, this won’t apply to any seniors.